March 21, 2007


This morning played out one of the more ridiculous moments of my life. Here are the details.

image from

Timeline of Events

6:30am: Nate leaves for Novell BrainShare and takes the garbage can to the alley behind our house {as directed by our "welcome to the community" documents}

8:15am: I call BFI {waste management purchased by Allied Waste Services} to explain that a garbage truck will have a time trying to drive down our alley right now because of all the construction.

8:20am: I call the City of South Jordan to explain that a garbage truck will have a time trying to drive down our alley right now because of all the construction {at the recommendation of BFI}

8:30am: The City confirms that during construction our garbage can should, in fact, be left in front of our house.

Break for Explanation

The way houses in our neighborhood sit, you only have garage access through the alley that runs behind the homes. At this point, all finished homes have just topsoil in lieu of actual grass and landscaping since it is still semi-winter in Utah. There are no sidewalks or pathways from the alley to the front of the house so the only way to take the trash can to the front is:
1) to drag it all the way around the block.
2) Drag it through the topsoil {um, it rained lastnight} through two gates, more topsoil, front curb.

End of Explanation

8:35am: Option 2 sounded faster so I threw off my heels, slipped on some flip flops by the back door and started to drag our 2,000 lb garbage can through the mushy, muddy topsoil.

8:35am: Did I fail to mention that the place was crawling with construction workers?

8:45am: Yes, it did take me this long to get the garbage can through the back yard only to find out that I went the wrong way. Only one side of our backyard has a gate that opens up to the front yard. I chose the wrong side.

8:55am: After dragging the garbage can back to the alley I looked at the other gate, leading through the other side of our backyard and on to the front curb. My legs were covered in mud up to my calves and my flip flops were about 3" higher with mud build up. I couldn't bare the thought.

9:05am: I dragged the garbage can begrudgingly around the block, trying to kick the mud off my flip flops {it still remained on my feet and legs} and still look feminine in my skirt.

9:05am: Construction workers are all around and still watching me. And laughing.

9:07am: I tip-toe through the house with mud on my feet, into the master bath and into the tub where I rinse off from the knee down.

9:15am: I slip into my heels, jump in the car and curse waste management as I drive by and wave at all the construction workers who have watched the entire process.

Should taking out the garbage really take an hour? {correct answer: NO!}


Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear you had such a nightmare just trying to take out the trash! I am a garbage collector and have had many a situation where people run after the truck with a last bag.

I work on a regular, backloading truck (we manually throw everything into the back). Is that the kind of truck used where you are?

Tonia Conger said...

Dear Garbage Collector,
Thanks for the sympathy. Sorry I cursed waste management. I'm pretty sure our trucks are all automatic with big mechanical arms that grab the can and dump it.

Amie said...

Weird, my garbage day is on Wednesday too. What day does your mailman come? i bet it's the same.

Tonia Conger said...

Um, if you say your mailman comes everyday I'm totally freaked out. We are living parallel lives!! :-)

Anonymous said...

No worries - lot of people curse the garbage men. However, we get some women on the route who often stop to watch our trucks working. Again, we're not as advanced so we throw everything in by hand.

Had a woman last week who was totally mesmorized seeing her old couch, tv and bags go into the truck. Ever see the backloading trucks work?