September 18, 2007


This morning seemed to go smoothly, but, as with most episodes of I Love Lucy, that's the way things typically start. Just a few minutes in, however, everything began to break down. There was the typical amount of tripping, bumping into things, stumbling over words; that is all very standard. Very.
I've always claimed that I live an "I Love Lucy" life but the more episodes of "The New Adventures of Old Christine"
I watch, the more I think I might be channeling her instead. Whoever it may be, she came in this morning wreaking havoc.

I pulled out of the garage on time with a full belly and lip gloss applied. All set for my second day in a blue shirt dress and my cute pink t-straps I could just tell the day was going to be a good one. About two miles from the garage, my car started having problems with the clutch. I had to search for the gears and the shifting felt crunchy. Then, I pushed in the clutch, shifted the car to fourth gear and when I let up on the clutch, it didn't come up. It just laid there on the floor like a dead cat, one I'd just squished with my pretty shoe.

Instinctively I stepped on the dead cat clutch again to shift up or down, I'm not really sure. At this point, the shifter became like King Arthur's sword, immovable. I suddenly felt alone, vulnerable. Like I'm the first person this has ever happened to and perhaps the last.

With a quick recovery, I coasted off the highway onto a side street and called Nate for backup. Luckily he was working from home today. He leaves town tomorrow so I can't imagine if this were one day delayed. Anyway, Nate came to my rescue as I sat in the car all sweaty arm-pitted and frantic, anticipating how unprofessional it would be to show up late on my second day of work. As if anyone would notice.

You think the story ends here and that's where you're wrong. When Nate dropped me at work our plan was that I would ride the fast bus from downtown to Daybreak. I'm used to riding public transportation, after all. Something happened between those days and these. I did my research before leaving work, wrote down the bus number, address to the stop, and pick up times, all on a sticky note. The sticky note was affixed to my trusty moleskin notebook and dropped in my purse.

On my way to the bus stop it became very windy; my blue shirt dress threatening to blow up around my shoulders. As I was running across one particularly windy intersection all hunched over to hold the dress in place, I heard my sticky note blow off the moleskin notebook and disappear into the wind before I had time to react. I couldn't remember the bus number to save my life. As I called Nate, again for back up, I heard my cell phone beep that it was getting dangerously low on battery. Nate gave me the information I needed, I regrouped, and trudged on to the bus stop.

Now, it was really only at this point that I realized Utah public transportation probably isn't free. Duh. I ducked into Zim's craft supply to buy a sharpie and get some change for the bus but Zim's doesn't make change of any kind. I counted my coins and I had $1.15 and a Canadian nickel but that's not enough because I was told the bus was $1.60. Well, my situation was this: the bus was due any minute and I didn't have enough money to get on. I considered pan handling to make up the difference but I just couldn't. Nate says it would have been hot. My cell phone beeped to let me know it was limping along on its last breath. What could I do? What should I do?

Well, to make a long story short, my phone had one last call left in it and Nate is today's knight in shining armor. I love you babe. You are my Ricky Ricardo! Can tomorrow please be easier?


Brilliant Asylum said...

Sorry you had a bad day, but it gave me a laugh. Hope things are looking up!

Dayna said...

gosh...I think I would have fallen apart, and laughed at the end of it all. great story-telling and glad it's behind you!

The Meesh said...

I love it! I've always been under the impression that these crazy life experiences only happen to me. They are life gems and make for fabulous stories.

Tonia Conger said...

I'm convinced they are the reason Xanax was invented by the Xanax angel.