DEAR BO

Dear Bo, the new "First Dog".
How is it possible that you get a Breaking News banner on CNN? Are you more important than people losing jobs or the weather report? How is it that Anderson Cooper spent valuable time from his life covering the story of you and the Obama's making friends and running together on the white house lawn. Just asking.

Your pal,
Tonia

p.s. Yes You Can!!!

CHURCH ADVERTISING NETWORK

Many churches across the UK have created ads to promote church attendance. I heard these on NPR {of course} and couldn't stop giggling when I heard these 30 second radio spots.

Christmas story told in 30 seconds:
-Football Match
-Horse Race

I found them here.

TINA FUNNY

My pretend BFFs. Sometimes I'm sure that if certain famous, successful people met me we would become best friends. These women include {but are not limited to} Drew Barrymore. Tina Fey. Mary Tyler Moore. Carol Burnett. Sarah Jessica Parker.
This video clip from SNL made me giggle. If anyone has ever taken Seasonale, you'll find yourself laughing 50% because it's funny and 50% because it will scare the crap out of you. And you're one of those people who laugh when they're scared.

YOU KNOW THAT GIRL?

The girl everyone likes? The one who has inside jokes with half the world? She's funny and witty and just the right combination of silly and soulful? You must know Cara Dee! Her comments on my blog make me giggle. Her posts make me giggle. The way she and her husband seem to goof off together and have fun like you do with your BFF from high school.
Cara Dee, I'm not sure I knew funny before I knew {virtually} you. Thanks for sharing your prank. It really makes our "let's fill Jaimi's office up with balloons while she's in Thailand" prank a little blahzay!

I LAUGHED OUT LOAD

Whenever Stephen Colbert mentions his loathing fear and disdain for bears, I laugh. Whenever I see him awkwardly riding an elliptical machine, and showering in coffee, I laugh out loud. Thank you Stephen Colbert. Thank you for giving me special gifts every single day.

OFFICE COLLAR

I fear for the future in ways I'm not even aware of yet. Luckily these office collars were created {in response to the open office environment where no walls or divisions exist between employees}, as more of a social statement and less "for reals". But, the designer is taking onesy-twosy orders if you are interested. Personally, I'd rather have a boring, carpeted cubical wall wrapped around my view of the world then a white leather funnel collar.

OOPS

Last night at the gym I asked a woman on the neighboring elliptical machine if she minded me turning up the volume on the TV and as the words were coming out of my mouth I noticed she was wearing a hearing aid and THAT'S why the volume was down and closed captioning was turned on. How do you recover from that? I'll tell you how, YOU DON'T.

Photo via snowing_indoors' on flickr

I AM LUCY OR SOMEONE LIKE HER

This morning seemed to go smoothly, but, as with most episodes of I Love Lucy, that's the way things typically start. Just a few minutes in, however, everything began to break down. There was the typical amount of tripping, bumping into things, stumbling over words; that is all very standard. Very.
I've always claimed that I live an "I Love Lucy" life but the more episodes of "The New Adventures of Old Christine" I watch, the more I think I might be channeling her instead. Whoever it may be, she came in this morning wreaking havoc.

I pulled out of the garage on time with a full belly and lip gloss applied. All set for my second day in a blue shirt dress and my cute pink t-straps I could just tell the day was going to be a good one. About two miles from the garage, my car started having problems with the clutch. I had to search for the gears and the shifting felt crunchy. Then, I pushed in the clutch, shifted the car to fourth gear and when I let up on the clutch, it didn't come up. It just laid there on the floor like a dead cat, one I'd just squished with my pretty shoe.

Instinctively I stepped on the dead cat clutch again to shift up or down, I'm not really sure. At this point, the shifter became like King Arthur's sword, immovable. I suddenly felt alone, vulnerable. Like I'm the first person this has ever happened to and perhaps the last.

With a quick recovery, I coasted off the highway onto a side street and called Nate for backup. Luckily he was working from home today. He leaves town tomorrow so I can't imagine if this were one day delayed. Anyway, Nate came to my rescue as I sat in the car all sweaty arm-pitted and frantic, anticipating how unprofessional it would be to show up late on my second day of work. As if anyone would notice.

You think the story ends here and that's where you're wrong. When Nate dropped me at work our plan was that I would ride the fast bus from downtown to Daybreak. I'm used to riding public transportation, after all. Something happened between those days and these. I did my research before leaving work, wrote down the bus number, address to the stop, and pick up times, all on a sticky note. The sticky note was affixed to my trusty moleskin notebook and dropped in my purse.

On my way to the bus stop it became very windy; my blue shirt dress threatening to blow up around my shoulders. As I was running across one particularly windy intersection all hunched over to hold the dress in place, I heard my sticky note blow off the moleskin notebook and disappear into the wind before I had time to react. I couldn't remember the bus number to save my life. As I called Nate, again for back up, I heard my cell phone beep that it was getting dangerously low on battery. Nate gave me the information I needed, I regrouped, and trudged on to the bus stop.

Now, it was really only at this point that I realized Utah public transportation probably isn't free. Duh. I ducked into Zim's craft supply to buy a sharpie and get some change for the bus but Zim's doesn't make change of any kind. I counted my coins and I had $1.15 and a Canadian nickel but that's not enough because I was told the bus was $1.60. Well, my situation was this: the bus was due any minute and I didn't have enough money to get on. I considered pan handling to make up the difference but I just couldn't. Nate says it would have been hot. My cell phone beeped to let me know it was limping along on its last breath. What could I do? What should I do?

Well, to make a long story short, my phone had one last call left in it and Nate is today's knight in shining armor. I love you babe. You are my Ricky Ricardo! Can tomorrow please be easier?

DANE COOK MAKES ME LAUGH OUTLOUD

Liz Stanley posted some of Dane Cook's stand-up act from You Tube. I watched a few more segments and deem him extra funny; you just have to censor his language here and there.