THERE'S A 20 LB BIRD IN MY FRIDGE!

I rushed out on Saturday night, after a long day at work, and purchased an enormous butterball turkey. After removing a shelf from my refrigerator to accommodate the frozen gobbler, I put him in the 99 cent flimsy foil pan to thaw. I keep giving him the poke test. He's getting softer and softer. I think he'll be ready to brine tomorrow. I was originally going to go with the standard salt water mix but this recipe from Martha won me over. I'm going to buy the ingredients tonight so that I can start the 24 hour soak tomorrow.
Andrew, if you want me to save you some dark meat I will.