May 11, 2011

DEAR CLEMENTINE

I found out I was pregnant on new year's eve. I was using an app on my iPhone to track my periods because unlike most 39 year olds I could never answer the Doctor's question, "when was your last menses"? I'd stammer around like a 12 year old and finally answer, "something like 8 days ago...I think".

Anyway, the iPhone app surprised me on new year's eve by saying that I was a whole month and a half late; after a lot of denial and minor league panic attacks I took a pregnancy test, reading all instructions on the box carefully.

1. pee on the wand
2. hold level for accuracy
3. wait a minimum of 30 seconds to process

Step 1 was easy but by the time I pulled the wand away to get a better look, the answer was there - flashing in my face like a strobe light. PREGNANT. My hand shook, I spent the next 5 minutes in a cold sweat just sitting on the toilet saying over and over again, "I'm pregnant, oh my hell". The reaction wasn't necessarily a negative one but probably what you'd expect from a 39 year old woman doesn't adapt to change easily. That's me.
Nate was skiing. Which in hindsight was a good thing because I had the whole day to process the news. I went to GNC and asked about prenatal vitamins and when the sales clerk asked me, "are you expecting", I choked on my answer. "Maybe". That's how I answered. MAYBE. What a chicken shit.
I consulted one friend before Nate got home. "Should I tell him? How should I break the news? What if he isn't exactly happy about it? Then what? THEN WHAT?" She advised me to tell him immediately and when I heard the garage door open I had the nearly undeniable instinct to hide in the closet. But instead I stuck to the plan. Years before, in anticipation of this day, I was shopping in San Francisco and found a onsie that said, "My Dad's a Geek". I bought it and figured it would come in handy. And it did. The onsie fit nicely into a small gift bag with the pregnancy test tied to it with a bow. When Nate got home I explained that there was one Christmas present that had arrived a little late but I hoped he liked it anyway.
When he opened up the bag all my worries went away - he smiled from ear to ear and gave me a big long hug which was exactly what I needed. It was really fun to have a secret with Nate that night as we hung out with friends at a New Years Eve party. It was our little secret and she'll be our little creation in another 3.5 months.


6 comments:

CaraDee said...

Ha, that is one of those great moments. We had been trying for a long time with our first. I had my suspicions, so I took a test while Brandon talked with my girlfriend on the phone. When he saw the test, he said, "Oh F&%^". Not because he was unhappy, but you understand. Big f'ing dealio. So you're not alone. It's scary, and mostly worth it. ha ha ha

Keep these posts coming!

MrsEm said...

Happy congratulations to you both!

Kristin said...

Are there really women out there who can precisely answer the Doctor's question about their last period? WHO ARE THOSE WOMEN?! I am SO excited for you to be a mom. (You'll be such a cool mom.) Love this post and love you!

Whit said...

Fun story!

dayna said...

yipee! we are so excited! can't believe you went skiing while you were pregnant...christmas eve...sheesh. what an irresponsible thing to do. (hope you know I'm kidding:) ) love you!

Christy Cropper Photography said...

that made me cry a little bit ;)
congrats! what happy news!