LADY LUMPS

This post isn't what you might think. It's not going to be salacious or in anyway anything remotely sexy. This is just a brief discussion about MY lady lumps. ALL of them. I guess I come from a gene pool of cysty people. If you dare say the word "cyst" at a Thompson family gathering you'll hear story after story about this cyst or that cyst. We talk about them like old friends.

Name Unknown: In 2007 I got a "bible bump"; a cyst on my wrist that caused me so much pain I had to give up beloved things like Yoga and push-ups. It was big and painful to the point that I finally went to a doctor. He diagnosed it within moments and said he "...could just pull out the fluid but it'll likely come back. The surest route is to surgically remove it." I said yes and a week or so later I was cyst-less once again.

Hank: Earlier this century, my doctor told me I had a very common fibroid in my uterus. In fact, there was more than one. We kept an eye on them to make sure they didn't suddenly start to grow and that was that. Until I got pregnant last year. Then this tiny little unnoticeable fibroid (now known as Hank among family and friends) grew to 13cm thanks to fluctuating hormones . I'm currently waiting for Hank to shrink down to a manageable size so my doctor can give me the equivalent of another c-section whereupon she will remove my uterus, take Hank out, curse him according to my specific orders, replace my uterus, and stitch me back up.

Peggy: About a month ago I found a lump on my left breast. It totally freaked me out. I've lost dear ones to breast cancer. A quick trip to my doctor and she said it was "a cyst but let me send you to the Breast Center for a closer look". I went, they took a closer look and decided to do a biopsy. I was once again totally freaked out. A week later I had my first mammogram followed by a biopsy and left the Breast Center with a bag of ice shoved in my bra. A few days later, I got the results. Benign. Peggy is benign. THANK YOU.

Nosey: Nosey is something special. I noticed it about the same time as Peggy but it has really taken off. It sits atop my nose. A few weeks ago you couldn't see it...but you could feel it. Today, it's obvious. It looks like a giant witch wart or a bit zit. I mention it only because today I'm hoping Nosey will be removed. I SWEAR IT'S MAKING MY NOSE CROOKED.

So far, this chronicles all my lady lumps. I hate each one for different reasons. I dislike being cysty but if I have to be cysty please let them always be benign. If you haven't and you are old enough, get a mammogram.