SURVEY SAYS

This is my 12 year old niece Abby. She called me today to ask if I'd pose this survey question on my blog for an assignment she is doing in school. Of course! So I'm hoping you'll participate and leave your answer in the form of a comment. All for the sake of education!
















How many bones have you broken in your life?

Just leave a comment that includes your first name and the number. Feel free to answer for spouses and/or children.

Tonia = 10 bones. My parents actually had me tested for brittle bones. Test results came back negative which can only mean one thing. I'm a klutz.

Bone Summary: arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, foot, thumb, wrist, nose, tail bone (I'm sure there are more but I cannot remember.

THANK YOU UNEXPECTED PERSON!

{photo from dominic_nwh photostream}
I have great friends. Some are really creative, some analytical, some practical offering a much needed voice of reason. With friends stretching across the spectrum of possibilities it's odd to think that I'd ever find myself in a situation where I didn't have someone to talk to; but it occasionally happens.
I haven't moved a lot in my life but I've moved some. In chronological order: Utah, New York, Utah, Missoula MT, Utah, Chicago, Missoula MT, Utah. And the situation usually plays out as follows. I walk into a new city and into a new job. My mind feels numb from all the drastic change all at once. I don't even have a favorite place to eat yet. And in that moment of feeling like a stranger I long for friends and familiar places. But it's not part of the package; I can't expect to move and start new adventures and keep the comfort of my old life tucked in my back pocket.
So I power through. I walk around the streets until I find a place I like, a place I'll bring my friends when they visit. I locate a good bookstore and recognize the corner where I'll sit and read on Saturday afternoons. Most importantly, I'll find somewhere outside where I can go and think and watch people and learn what it means to be a local.
In Montana I was a local if I got my CDs at Rockin' Rudy's, ate soup at Catalyst, and went to the Iron Horse to whet my whistle. I was a local if I loved the children's theater, patronized the local mom-and-pop shops, and proclaimed I was a Grizzly fan. In Chicago I was a local if I new what L train to catch to get home without looking at my map. I was a local if I could recommend the best deep dish pizza in the city and if the guy at the fruit stand knew my name. I was a local if I met my friends for dinner in out-of-the-way places in up-and-coming neighborhoods. Sometimes I felt like a local and sometimes I never really adjusted, but I always tried.
All of this is just a lead into what I've been thinking about this week. Because while this post is mostly talking to people I've met in my traveling, they are all around me. Everywhere. It's the unexpected people that waltz into my life and totally change it around - then usually they waltz right back out again. Sometimes the difference these people make is quite significant and I just know I'll be friends with them forever; sometimes that happens but usually it doesn't. How long we are friends or if I have their current address today isn't the point - it's not what's important. What is important is how they changed my life; brought me out of a bad routine or taught me how to swim and encouraged me to do a triathlon. It's how they said something {or a lot of things} that have forever impacted how I think about myself. It's how they made me laugh when I was feeling the worst. I think it's so important to acknowledge the little miracles that happen every day when we meet someone who is good for us. Someone who offers us exactly what we need.
For all of these things and more, I have to thank the unexpected people who have changed my life for the better. Wherever they are.

OFFICE BULLIES; WHO NEEDS THEM?

I'm not sure what motivates the office bully. It doesn't gain them more respect, acceptance or a harder working team. I've met personalities in regular life who get what they want out of intimidation, abrasiveness or, worst of all: passive aggressive behavior . So, I guess, on the surface they may seem, and consider themselves, successful. But I also know what people say about them. How they are REALLY thought of; not well! And I also see the quality of their life and it's not so appealing to me. I have to think that if someone is intimidating me and using that wicked passive aggressive behavior, imagine what they do to their family. Yuck.

Robert I. Sutton published a book this year with Warner Books entitled: The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't. Please forgive some of the language in this review from Publishers Weekly, but, quite frankly, if we think it why can't/don't we say it?























"This meticulously researched book, which grew from a much buzzed-about article in the Harvard Business Review, puts into plain language an undeniable fact: the modern workplace is beset with assholes. Sutton (Weird Ideas that Work), a professor of management science at Stanford University, argues that assholes—those who deliberately make co-workers feel bad about themselves and who focus their aggression on the less powerful—poison the work environment, decrease productivity, induce qualified employees to quit and therefore are detrimental to businesses, regardless of their individual effectiveness. He also makes the solution plain: they have to go. Direct and punchy, Sutton uses accessible language and a bevy of examples to make his case, providing tests to determine if you are an asshole (and if so, advice for how to self-correct), a how-to guide to surviving environments where assholes freely roam and a carefully calibrated measure, the "Total Cost of Assholes," by which corporations can assess the damage. Although occasionally campy and glib, Sutton's work is sure to generate discussions at watercoolers around the country and deserves influence in corporate hiring and firing strategies."
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Kai Ryssdal interviews the author of No Asshole so listen here. I especially like the description of the "kiss up, kick down" mentality. Boy, don't we all know someone like that? I know a few.

Anyway, this is a post to offer support and empathy to all those who may be in the middle of their worst day ever...or something like that. Chin up.

DUMPSTER DIVING: KEEPING IT REAL

I have an abusive relationship with our garbage. You'll remember the traumatic time I had a while ago just taking it out to the curb on trash day. Well, this morning may have been more traumatic from an olfactory perspective. And definitely one of those things that, while it's happening, I find myself saying, "really? Is this how things are gonna be today?"
Let me explain. Over the last few weeks Nate and I have had lots of house guests {yay, that's one of the reasons I wanted a house in the first place}. Our guests have included diaper wearin' babies, and meals have typically generated a lot of table scraps, from the younger kids especially. Sidenote: did I really only take a few bits of food a day when I was six? And if so, where did I get the mentality lately that my plate must be licked clean?
Anyway, with all the extra trash we filled up the regular can provided by the city and had to over-flow into our "recycled trash only" can. Since we couldn't take this can out to the curb containing un-recyclable trash, it had to sit in our garage {for two weeks. And it's been over 100 degrees several days in a row} getting raunchier and raunchier.
This morning I knew what had to be done. And I had to psych myself up for it. I dragged the normal everyday trash can into the garage and had to dumpster dive into the recycle can to fish out all the trash bags full of parishable items {food, diapers, need i say more?}. The smell I was exposed to this morning might have been of nuclear strength. I can still smell it because it somehow got trapped in my nostrils. I've never been the kind of girl who can't get dirty or has expensive acrylic nails but I am a girl who will retain a particularly offensive smell or taste in memory for decades {read: chorizo at iHOP}
All this because Nate conveniently travelings on Wednesdays. One word to describe todays dumpster dive. "EW", and with that I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

GET REAL: CLARIFICATION

There's some concern that to "get real" is to "get negative". To me there is a distinct difference between the two. I'm in no way encouraging anyone to get down on themselves or to dwell on their flaws. I simply thought it would be a fun experiment in a few different areas:
1. How comfortable we are at letting down our guard and exposing our imperfections, our goofs, our embarrassing moments
2. The open environment it may create if we give one another a chance to see something more then the blog persona
3. The funny stories we might all be priveledged to read about every-day bloggers experiencing every-day challenges
4. Hey, there's a always a chance to learn from other's mistakes, right?

Anyway, I appreciate anyone who wants to participate and I apologize to anyone who thinks I'm inspiring others to be negative and/or dwell on negative things. I'd love to get to a point in my own life where I actually celebrate the awkward moments rather sweep them under the rug. In my own experiences, those times of challenge are what make me grow and develop into a more gracious person capable of real empathy. {see turning lemons into lemonade}.

TAG: GET REAL

The last few months I've seen a lot of bloggers get tagged to post a list of five things people didn't know about them. Since my BlogTonia post resonated so well with other bloggers and readers, I thought it might be a good idea to implement the "tag" idea and encourage others to "get real" for a minute. If you're tagged to "get real", perhaps you can share an awkward moment, a less then perfect project, a career disappointment, a challenging child story...anything that will remind your readers and other bloggers that you are NOT perfect. Because we all think you are.
If I get five people to comment and say it's a good idea, I'll tag a few bloggers and we'll see how it goes. If you feel like volunteering, just make a comment below.

















{image from Robyn Galligher's at flickr}

UPDATE:
Three cheers for Ali, Tiffany and Andrea for taking the challenge to "get real". I look forward to many other brave souls taking the plunge! Yippee!